An Emerging Me is Changing My Life

I am recognizing that our culture is changing. We are moving from a modern culture [or have already moved] into a post-modern culture. And that means a whole lot of different things to different folks. So I am exploring what that means to me and to share links to friends and findings related to an emergent culture and to an emerging me.  I created a new page called EMERGING ME.  Primarily I am exploring this concept in relation to the emerging church, but I also want to recognize post-modernity in everyday life and in my American culture and the influences it has had on me and the world.  And future trends.

Unfortunately all of what I wrote and what I read is so vague and mysterious and (gulp) subjective.   I wish someone would just stand up and start pointing to all of the modern influences on my life and tell me what to change.  But even that concept is a modern one.  And it is how I got to where I am!  I have been told what THE ONLY biblical way of looking at the world is.  I have been given the picture of how God looks and how salvation works.  And I was told not to deviate from the plan!  I have been told what to do and what not to do.  Alcohol is bad, period.  And those that drink, well they are bad too, even my conservative, reformed brother in Christ.  Heck he smokes a pipe and cigars too!  And he likes Halloween!  How can he be a Christian?  How can he be saved?  And he is a 5-point Calvinist!  DON’T GET ME STARTED!  The TRUTH is that Dan IS a fellow follower of Christ.  He teaches me new things about what it means to be Christ-like all the time.  He IS my brother in Christ.

It used to be that theology was organic, it changed, not the tenants, not the Orthodoxy, but what that looked like in culture and what it looked like in relation to the latest issues.  It changed as it relates to politics, music, customs, etc.  And then it was defined, outlined, proven and solidified.  But guess what?  Culture changed, politics changed, music changed, customs changed and people changed.  God didn’t change, but our response to the Gospel and our relationship with Christ should always be changing.  What it means to be saved from our sins changes and to be reconciled with God changes.  Yes it does, YES it does! If nothing else it changes with our sins, it changes with our relationships!  But it also changes with our culture and with the changes of life.  Morphing, improving, growing, evolving.  And sometimes that demands theology and religion to change too.  God does not change.  But we change.  People change.

The way we learn has changed (scholastically and scientifically, the Internet and blogging).  What we are learning has changed (microbiology, modern medicine, space).  Transportation has changed drastically just over the past 100 years!  Commerce changed.   Technology changes drastically every few months.  And ALL of the effects our relationship with God and others.   No you say?  When is the last time you wrote a letter?  How about an email?  IM?  Big deal?  When is the last time what you said in an email was misinterpreted?  Letters used to be read differently than our casual emails.  We have instant ways of written communication that can intentionally and unintentionally hurt our friends, families and others.  And it can also build us up and encourage one another.

The reformation changed religion forever and for the better because the church needed to change.  The Holiness movement changed religion in the US and in England (sigh…for the better-mostly).

Likewise, I believe that the emergent conversation that is going on in this country will change religion and the church forever.  And believe me, the church needs to change.  The church needs to help the poor again.  The church needs to stand up for justice again.  The church needs to help people again (even gay people).  The church needs to be Christ again.   The church needs to stand for peace and reconciliation again.

I AM CHANGING.   I WILL CONTINUE TO CHANGE.  Even if it hurts.  Even if it is hard.  Even if the costs are high.  Even if I don’t want to.  But today I do want to change, I want to be a better person.

-Durk-

Reminders Change My Life

It is a shame, but I have to constantly be reminded of things that are pretty basic. Here is a short list:

• Back up data (see a few posts ago)
• I am a Christian first
• War is bad

I am sure my wife has a much longer list.

I Am A Christian First

My Pastor Donnie recently reminded me of this and Monte’s blog reminded me again and re-enforced this idea. I have a tendency to be a Republican first. So instead of seeking a proper biblical or Christ-like response I look to Rush Limbaugh, the news and NPR BEFORE I look to the Bible, the church or to my brothers and sisters in Christ. And that is simply wrong. I am a follower of Christ FIRST and foremost. I just happen to be born in the US, so I am an American next and finally I align myself politically with many of the ideas of the Republican party-and that should be last on the list, or near last. That means I have to ask myself what would Jesus do? Or what is the right thing to do biblically? Or what is just? Or what is the least harmful response. Who is going to get hurt the most and why? And then ask questions regarding freedom, the US’s view of liberty and lastly, personal responsibility, private ownership and free trade and open commerce. I have failed to do this in the past. And for that I am sorry and I want to do better.  I want to change.

War is Bad, but Sometimes Justified

Although it is not always avoidable, war is bad. Killing people is bad. Stopping bad people from continuing to hurt and kill people is almost always the more right thing to do. It is just. it is right. And many times that looks like war. And sometimes it does not, sometimes there is diplomacy and embargoes and such. But war should be entered into cautiously, be very calculated and be decisive and short. So I have to ask those questions I was just telling myself to ask when talking about war. WWII was a war that, I believe, was justified entering into. Hitler=BAD, killing Jews=bad, attacking the US=bad, world domination=bad, stopping the Axis=good. Ending tyranny=good. Lives were sacrificed, but for a much greater good.

But what about the Iraq war? Well, I don’t have all the answers. I think many of the things that Saddam Hussein did to the people of Iraq were wrong. And so did a court from his country. He was tried and put to death. Saddam will not be hurting anyone else ever again. That is a good thing, it is a greater good. But invading Iraq? This war could have been avoided and should have been handled differently. Intelligence was bad, caution was thrown to the wind, calculations were inaccurate, planning was incomplete, and the war goes on and on with no decisive end in sight. I’d like to think that Bush’s intentions were good and that things have progressed badly. I am also not talking about “war on terror.” A declaration of war on atrocity and murder and oppression and evil is noble, justified and should be the goal of every country and every people-it is the greater good. All people of the world should be able to live in freedom and peace no matter their skin color, where they were born or what they believe.

But back to Iraq, OK, we did it, we are there, so now what? I don’t know. I think we should either gain control and establish peace and restoration or get the heck out. The first will take a whole lot more effort, people, and military might. I think dragging it out forever is NOT the answer and some of the rules of engagement are getting people on both sides killed. The latter will leave a country to fend for itself. And I believe that that will leave Iraq to be a breeding ground for hate groups like the Taliban and al Qeada to do what they have don in the past, initially come in, establish peace and appear to save the day and then make life miserable for the Muslim people, especially women and children.

This is change for me. Change is difficult, but it is good.

-Durk-

The Times are a Changin’ or maybe it is Just Me?

This past week has been a pretty big one for me. I will try to get it all out, but this week there have been a few changes in the way I think and look at life. Now I have to say that all these changes didn’t really occur overnight or in the course of a week. I have been learning over months and years.

My work laptop crashed last week. That allowed me to slow down a bit and read some blogs a bit! Where to start…for the past few years I have had a strong interest in the Emerging Church. It is a philosophical and theological and lots of other “icals”. And I ran across a website for Emergent Nazarenes. There was a really cool post there that asked folks to share ideas about ways one can cultivate humility in their lives. One of the comments was by Monte. Well I knew this just had to be Monte Asbury, a pastor friend from the Nazarene church I grew up in. And sure enough it was! Monte is still pastoring in Washington, IA. And he has a lot of insightful things to say. And so I began to read his blog.

MONTE ASBURY CHANGED MY LIFE

Monte is one of those people that has a way of making huge impressions on you. Now I am sure if you ask Monte about me he will say that I was some kid that grew up in a church where he attended before he was a pastor.  (And actually he will be MUC kinder and he will remember more than I think!)  I am sure he knew who’s kid I was, but other than that I was some young kid and he was a married guy with children. He wasn’t a youth leader.  He also might remember that  I saw him again a few years ago at a Robbert Webber worship conference (I JUST discovered that Robert Webber died? OH MAN I’ll get back to that in a later post). We were both older. And he recommended a book to me: A New Kind of Christian. That was one of the best recommendations ever.

Monte Asbury had a HUGE impact on me when I was in high school. There was a gentlemen in our church that died of cancer. Bernie Herne. Bernie was a patron saint in our church. He was so Christ-like and holy. He was so cool, he was humble and gentle and loving. He is one of the folks that I identify with being sanctified and filled with the holy spirit. At the funeral many were quiet and mournful. Except for one. This one guy, he kept talking out load during parts of the service. Someone would talk about the life of Bernie and the love of Christ and this guy would proclaim, “yes” or “Amen”. And then someone sang a song and the message was that living here is alright and heaven must be cool too, but if they had chance to choose between the two they’d go home, to be with their Lord in heaven. AND THIS GUY, HE LOSES IT! He is shouting and almost hollering, “PRAISE GOD” and “AMEN.” I get teary-eyed just thinking about it. You see Bernie was at peace. He was home! He wasn’t in pain anymore. But more than that, he got to finally be in the presence of his Savior! He got to meet the Christ that he had faithfully served. I didn’t fully understand that. But Monte sure did. He got it. And it made him so happy to know that this guy who he called friend and brother finally went home where he belonged! Monte is another person who I think of when I think of what it means to be sanctified. That memory is burned into my mind. It was so powerful to me. Monte really understood something that I wanted to get. And not much has changed.

Look for more changes…

-Durk-

One Definition of Insanity

…is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different or new result. If you go back to my very first post  you will read about my work laptop crashing. You will read about me vowing to back up data. Well, guess what? My work laptop crashed yesterday.

So the question is did I lose everything or did I learn my lesson the first time around and backed up my data? Well, I am not too sure that the data is completely irrecoverable. But that isn’t the point is it? I did purchase software that would back up data. I installed it and even configured it. But work has these limitations. You can’t save certain file types. You can’t back up Outlook when it is running. And the list goes on and on.

So the answer is I had very little backed up. But I am not doing everything the same…I am BEGGING my boss to have IT do EVERYTHING they can to get the data off my hd. Which may involve spending money.

I did take the first step to do things differently in the future. I am encouraging the boss to entertain different ideas of backing up data.

I am insane today. But maybe more sane tomorrow. Well, not tomorrow because I will be going crazy hoping that they can get the data off my laptop tomorrow. But maybe soon.

-Durk-

I Remember 9/11

It is September 11, 2007. What does NPR say about the significance of this day in history? That six years ago 2 jet liners “went off course.” And then they went on with the rest of the news…Umm, what?

In addition to the planes taking a wrong turn, they were hijacked, by terrorists and then purposefully flown into 2 different World Trade Center towers. And then they fell to the ground. And another plane crashed before it got to the Pentagon and penetrated the outer walls of the Pentagon. And finally the sacrificial take-down and crash of United Flight 93. A whole lot of people died that day. People from all over the world. Innocent people.

I guess those were minor details. Or boring.

America was attacked on September 11, 2001. I refuse to forget. I hope you won’t either. Heck, I can’t forget. I remember where I was…at work, watching the second plane hit and the towers fall. And then being glued to the TV for the next few weeks. One of the most terrifying images (and sounds) burned into my brain are of those that jumped from windows to their death. That still haunts me today.

I also remember who took responsibility-Bin Laden-who is the leader and founder of al-Qeada-who’s objectives include the end of foreign influence in Muslim countries and the creation of a new Islamic caliphate (Bin Laden’s ultimate intention?). This idea of caliphate is pretty huge. I invite you to read more about what Orson Scott Card has to say on this subject here-basically a caliph could unite the Muslim world and expand al-Qeada on a global scale-Islamic world domination. And believe me, uniting Muslims throughout the world whose primary intentions are to kill infidels…very bad.

I remember what countries were training terrorists (Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Jordan, Syria, etc). I remember what country refused to follow UN resolutions (Iraq); many resolutions were dismissed. I remember that EVERYONE agreed that there were WMD, even former President Clinton-and that Husssein would not let inspectors look in all places to prove otherwise. I remember the atrocities that were occurring under a dictator (Saddam Hussein). I also remember the lives that have been lost, the soldiers that have made ultimate sacrifices, a war mismanaged and a war that must be won in a country that must not be overtaken by an Islamifaciast group like al-Qeada or the Taliban.

Or am I off course too?

-Durk-

Switching to WordPress

I am switching blog sites. For new posts go to: http://durkniblick.wordpress.com/

-Durk-

Timing is Everything

I remember talking to a co-worker that had worked in a financial aid office. She said to NOT wait to pay back student loans! That they would wait, allow interest to accrue, apply fines and penalties and fees and wait some more. Then they would come after you with a vengeance. That was 7 years ago.

I remember the MidAmerica Nazarene University recruiters coming to my church, into my youth group, into my Sunday School class. I had felt called to ministry, to preach, to pastor a church. But neither I nor my family could afford to pay for me to go to college. I had no idea how I would afford to go to my church college that would train me for ministry and prepare me for pastoring. But the recruiters had an answer: Financial Aid, student grants and student loans. That was 16 years ago.

Now my wife and I have 2 student loans that are about $100,000 apiece. I have never been able to enter into ministry for many reasons, one being that no church would ever be able to afford to employ me where I could pay the school loans back. I’ll never forget the speech that my church history professor gave my junior year of college. He said, “75% of all Nazarene churches are 75 people or les. So if you have more than $5000 in loans the average church won’t pay you enough to pay them back.” Thanks prof. Williams. Why didn’t YOU visit my youth group?

I remember filing for bankruptcy. The bankruptcy judge asked if I had a doctorate with that kind of student loans. “Nope,” I replied, “I went to a private, religious college.” The credit card debt went away, but student loans are not easily forgiven in bankruptcy so the loans did not go away. That has been well over 8 years ago.

Now, for some reason, the US Department of Education wants their money back…and they want it pretty bad. I may be a day away from having the US Dept of Education garnish my check, @15% of my disposable income per paycheck for the rest of my life. Interest will still accrue. And that is only for one of the two loans.

In addition, the state is currently garnishing my check and my wife’s check to the total of 25% per person, per check. It is for a medical bill. We won’t be able to pay rent this month. We both have pay day loans out. We have one maxed out credit card. I have 2 401K loans that I am repaying. As I write this, my bank account is negative.

The Sunday after the Student Loan collectors started talking to me my friend, Mike called me. It was just after church and he invited me to a Dave Ramsey class. Of course I said yes. Thanks Mike.

There are a few positives. I have a great family. I have 4 boys. I have a great job. So does my wife. I am taking steps in the right direction. My good friend Bill is acting as our financial counselor, he has been great to keep us focused and encouraged-he even paid for my wife and I to attend Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University classes. I have stopped my 401K contributions. No cable. No Internet. Of course it is because we owe them too. I plan to reduce the cell phone plans to the next plan down. We rent, but both of our minivans are paid for. I changed my tax exemptions to get more money back during the year instead of a refund The federal gov’t will take that anyway). I have been taking my lunch to work instead of eating out. One pay day loan is paid off. I have 1 401K loan that will be paid off by the end of the month. I won’t be giving to United Way next year. I have even applied for several part-time jobs and my wife has been taking extra duties on at her school-that will be extra money too. I have been in contact with the people I owe, trying to make a plan and trying to take control and be responsible.

And of course, I participated in my first Dave Ramsey class last night.

-Durk-

Amazing!

You’ve got to check this video out. I couldn’t find this exact one on youtube, but there are others from the same group.

Check this out: http://www.childdrowningprevention.com/index.html

Amazing or what? I can’t even do that. I watched it with my jaw slack and with my eyes popping out of my head.

I also could not have been the one to film it-I couldn’t have waited!

-Durk-