Category Archives: funny

The Door Exam: A CISSP Exam Analogy

Sectional-type overhead garage doors in the st...

The Garage Door Domain has its ups and downs

It has been about 10 days since I took the CISSP exam and still I am dreaming all things security. Literally dreaming, at night while I am trying to get restful sleep. This time I dreamed up an analogy to the whole CISSP preparation and exam that I think can be appreciated and found humorous.

The CISSP exam is like studying for a certification exam on doors.

Not everyone needs to be certified. If you just merely use doors, most likely you don’t need to be certified. But if you install doors-especially unusual doors, or if you wish to design doors-especially with specific purposes in mind, you may want to prepare and pass the door exam and get door certified.

Certification has advantages. Being door certified will tell the world that you are qualified on all things related to doors-hinges, knobs, the door-y part. Just by having the certification good things can happen to you, you may have more opportunities. The certification could open many new and exciting doors.

Experience is essential. Let’s say you’ve been studying one of the bodies of concentration, the garage door domain. Well, if you have installed a garage door before then you will be able to relate and bring something experiential to the exam. If you install garage doors for a living then you probably will have no problems with this domain. If you design garage doors, their installation and write documentation and are in charge of sales, well then you can consider yourself an expert on the garage door domain and you will have very little problems with this subject on the exam. Your experience will help you with questions regarding spring sizes and radio frequencies. You should memorize sizes and frequencies, but there won’t be any questions related to that on the final exam. The question on the final exam will be something like what is the worst type of garage doors opener to use around bombs. You won’t know the answer 100%, but your experience should help you narrow it down to an educated guess.

Some questions are designed to trick you. You have to immerse yourself into the (ISC)2 world. Let’s say you get a question from the farm door domain.

Barn

You have to know what color the barn door is supposed to be in the (ISC)2 farm.

The question is what color should a barn door be? You’ve narrowed the answers to “Red” and “Red & White”. Well, in reality a barn door can be whatever color the farmer wishes it to be, but you have to know what color the barn door is supposed to be in the (ISC)2 farm, er, I mean world. The question also may be negatively worded, like: The color of barn doors is essential to the function of the entire farm, not just the barn. Which of the following colors is the worst color to use on a barn door: A Red, B White, C, Black, D Brown. Of course the answer is brown. However, none of the practice tests will explain why the correct answer is most correct and the others are righter, just that D is the best answer. Shon Harris will have had a 3-minute segment on the color of barn doors which starts out, “Now, what is a barn door? We’ve talked about that before. The color of barn doors are essential to the function of the entire farm, not just the barn…” And some smart dude from India submitted the question. If he can get the color right then you should too. Duh. Moron.

Study deep. You may have a clear understanding between the different types of opaque doors used in residential, commercial, industrial and high-security settings both internal and external. You may understand the different types of glass used in internal sliding patio doors, external restaurant drive-thru doors, 1980 computer monitors, the 12-inch by 12 inch glass used in oatmeal factory doors, and the bullet-proof plastic used in jails. You may understand the purpose and the placement of the sticker that states: “THIS DOOR TO REMAIN UNLOCKED DURING BUSINESS HOURS’ and understand the history of why there was no business before the creation of the sticker. But the question on the final exam will be what is the best type of opaque material to use in airplane cockpit sliding doors while flying in areas that are highly populated with penguins. The answer will have to do with cold temperatures, the number of drinks served on a transatlantic flight and how many passengers breath through their nose. However, the answers will reflect this.

I am still waiting for the results of the exam. I feel pretty calm about it. Hopefully I got enough right to pass!

-Durk-

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A Funny Thing Happened to Me on My Way to Resetting a Password

Me: I had originally posted this a couple of years ago.  I took it down and after hem hawing about the “security-ness” of it and after editing I am now posting it again-thus the old, old comments.  It is a funny story!

I hope you can follow this…

Part of my job is resetting user’s passwords for the security system that I support. End users submit a ticket that has basic info in it including an ID that is unique. Users use this ID as their login to the system that I support-as well as many other systems, but my system uses a unique password. Most users that submit a ticket to have their password reset have attempted to log in many, many times and just keep entering the wrong password.  We’ve all been there, we forget it, guess wrong, whatever. No problem.

So I get a ticket across my desk late in the day. When the user was asked for their ID they put something like, “sweet06” or something. Obviously this was their password. Since I didn’t have a clue what the user’s ID was (their login) I had to reject the ticket.  In the notes I stated that I needed their login-not their password.

So she calls into our group. I answer, she explains that she doesn’t understand why the ticket was rejected.   So I say that I need her ID.

Silence.

“Your login,” I clarify.

Uncomfortable silence.

“Not your password.”

“OHHH,” she says, “You mean the thing on the first line”.

Silently shaking my head while trying to control myself.

“Yes,” I say, “the thing on the first line.”

Wow.

-Derin-

I Am With You Always-Jesus Action Figures

UPDATED POST:  The original website is here:  http://www.wearefishermen.com/home.html   But the website seems to no longer work.  It seems that the manufacturer is selling these through amazon.com. and I have linked to them below:

I am Freedom–Biker Jesus

Biker Jesus Figurine
by Fishermen

I am Freedom–Biker Jesus

I am Spirit–Surfing Jesus

Jesus Action Figure Surfing “I am Spirit”
by Fishermen

I am Spirit–Surfer Jesus

I am Victory–Soccer Jesus

Jesus Soccer Action Figure ‘I Am Victory’
by Fishermen

I am Victory–Soccer Jesus

I am Peace-Camo

Jesus Action Figure Military Outfit I am Peace

I am Peace–Camo Jesus

I’d like to hear what YOU have to say about these Jesus action figures.

-Derin-

Frozen in Grand Central Station – Video

[EDIT: “Improv”, not “Improve”…Thanks alot Bill (“Bill” should be read with just a bit of contempt)]

This, my friends is simply unbelievably cool! Check out this video of a group called Improve Everywhere.

You can see this video and its comments here and other videos from this group here.

My wife has been part of an improve group in the past. She is pretty darn good, but then so is the group headed by local middle school teacher, Jeff Yarnell. Jeff’s students have appeared at the New Theater Restaurant and other drama productions local and not-so-local.

I used to participate in church youth group musicals and dramas. That’s right, I acted and I sang. Now I wasn’t ready for American Idol or anything close, but I was alright. I can carry a tune and I can lie and make a fool of myself on stage pretty good. I miss it only slightly. But it was fun when I did it!

Ahhh…I used to be wild and crazy!

Please comment on the video-I’d love to hear your thoughts!

-Derin-

The Keech Club Penguin Blog

My twin’s wordpress blog has gotten 15,614 hits.  My site has gotten 2,438 hits.  Holy hits Batman!  I mean they’re 12!  But here is the big difference-they blog about Club Penguin.  I blog about debt and part-time jobs.  Another difference-they actually say something every few days, I haven’t had much to say for the past couple of months.  And that is because I haven’t actually had much to say, I haven’t had any glorious or profound thoughts.  I have been working.  And that is pretty much it.

-Derin-

Funny Nerdy Shirts

http://www.nerdyshirts.com

I’m Not Cool (Anymore)-The Minivan Controversy

I have had many friends over the years vehemently refuse to buy a minivan. Folks with 3 plus kids. Folks that are intelligent. Folks that can’t fit their whole family in a car-so they drive 2 cars, to the same place! Families that scream minivan. Why? Because they think that minivans will make them turn from being cool to not being cool. And I also have had several friends with kids give up in defeat and buy a minivan and resolve to be not cool anymore.

OK, listen closely, here comes the truth: If you have kids you aren’t cool anymore. No you’re not! NO YOU’RE NOT!

If you are married you are not cool, well, OK, you are somewhat cool because you can pretend you are not married, and because you don’t have kids yet, but this is just a transition stage. And if you are married WITH children, well, no, you are not cool. Single parent? You are not cool. There’s also an age where you move from cool to not cool even if you are not married and don’t have kids, but that is just creepy and not the point of this entry.

I am not cool. I have a minivan; in fact I have two mini vans, a purple one and a white one. I drive the white one. I may not be cool, but I am still a guy. But let’s be clear on this. It is NOT the minivan that makes me not cool! It is the 4 children and a wife! It is my twins laughing at me and not with me. It is my 2-yr old son asking me if I have a penis too, in public. It is my 9-month old spitting up on my shirt! Minivans have nothing to do with it.

I had this conversation with a co-worker a few years ago and she went on and on about rollin’ up in her SUV with the bling, bling rims and blah, blah, blah. If you park your pimped out SUV then strut to the back door, open it and pop out a kid. Well, guess what? You might think that you are cool, but you aren’t!

If you roll up in a Lamborghini heads will turn. You can be in the scene from Mission Impossible III, with the Asian chick with the hair and the red dress and the Italian sports car. You drive up, heads turn. You park and eyes are glued to you and your car. You open the door and your long, naked leg hits the pavement while sticking out of your skimpy, sexy red dress-heads will turn and mouths will open. You walk sexily to the other side of the car and open the door and bend over-there will be gasps-maybe even applause! You come up holding your 9-month old baby boy…Heads will turn alright, THE OTHER WAY! The applause will halt and people will smile with embarrassment and disappointment and many will laugh and shake their heads! Why? Yep, not cool.

You can be a cool mom or a cool dad and even a cool wife and cool husband. And guess what? I am a very cool dad and a somewhat cool husband! And you know what? There is nothing in the world cooler than having your kids, and sometimes your wife, think you are cool!

Like my friend Jeff said today on this topic: “I guess you can’t be cool and responsible at the same time.” EXACTLY. You can be young and single and cool-you have the whole world before you. Or you can be married with children-not cool anymore.

But here is the thing: Being married with children, well, that is the world in your hands.  Holding your 9-month old after you have all the spit cleaned up and having him recognize you as Dad and then he smiles real big and laughs…that is cool.

That’s cool.

-Durk-